Focus on the journey, not the destination
I personally, have probably heard some form of the statement above in dozens if not hundreds of books, article, talks or some other format.
In fact, I often refer to the line from an Aerosmith song: “Life’s a journey, not a destination.”
When do I refer to it? Just about every time I give advice to someone else about enjoying the ride. In recent years, I’ve also added the concept of Ichi-go ichi-e and about cherishing the now that you’re living to both reduce sadness and anxiety.
Long story short, I preach it a lot. But only recently did I realise that I don’t practice it enough.
The AHA! moment for me
I’ve been feeling some anxiety lately about what direction my career would take next and I know this is something I do to myself every couple of years, because I’ve had to work hard to create every opportunity.
I was seeing 3 potential avenues for me and I was weighing the pros and cons of each, while continuously sabotaging the potential of each.
In recent conversations with peers, I would expose my dilema and in every single situation, I could see a confused expression on their faces.
Being incredible people, everyone of them would try and get under the surface, assuming that there was more than what I was telling them. We would go back and forth on what I can now admit were probably pretty confusing conversations.
Luckily one person turned to me and said something along the lines of: “Hugo, no offence, but is it really a problem? It doesn’t sound like you’re in that bad a situation.”
I took that away and mulled over it a bit and came to two big conclusions:
I wasn’t recognising my accomplishments
I was focusing too much on the end results
Each of those had a set of consequences that I want to go into.
Recognising accomplishments
This isn’t exclusive to myself, but I’ve realised that so many of us are in firefighting mode and so focused on the “battle” and grind of each day, that we often lose sight of what we have been able to accomplish.
It’s always about the next outcome, goal or achievement, but we also need to take a step back and take stock of things.
I personally realised I haven’t celebrated my accomplishments much and almost don’t recognise them, which in turn can impact things like imposter syndrome.
My takeaway learnings:
Every so often, take a step back and take stock of what you’ve been able to accomplish;
Set some time in the calendar at least every 6 months;
Focus on what you’ve accomplished, but also what you’ve learnt;
Celebrate that with a dinner, a treat, a gift or just some alone time patting yourself on the back;
Don’t feel guilty for celebrating yourself (as long as you aren’t arrogant about it).
Focusing on the end result
This one is interesting, because in the world of product development, we are constantly incentivised to focus on Outcomes and how we deliver those outcomes.
But just like in product development, by only focusing on the outcomes or the end result, we can easily lose track of what is happening through the journey.
In this case, I was so focused in “having” to make a decision and chose a direction, that I didn’t notice that I’m currently on a pretty wild journey that is bringing me so much value and growth.
It also connects to the previous section, where we don’t take stock of what is going on and what we’re achieving along that journey, because again, we’re focused on the end goal.
My takeaway learnings:
Focus on the now and what you’re learning as you go through it;
Think about all the scenarios, but not as a way to create anxiety, but rather as a way to be conscious of all the options;
Even the worst case scenarios, don’t define who you are, they only define what decision you might need to take when you reach that point;
Making that decision when you get there rather than trying to make that decision when it’s all just based on possibilities;
Understanding that you can only control a part of the situation and that’s okay.
In the end, don’t sweat it so much
The logic behind the statement of focusing on the journey rather than the destination is pretty straightforward, but for me, I needed to reach a realisation for it to actually have an impact in how I approach the journey.
I’ve been applied the logic of being in the moment and absorbing that, but for specific moments, rather than the whole journey.
Having understood and applied the above learnings better, I can easily be more relaxed and feel less pressure.
Right now, I’m celebrating accomplishments one step at a time.
Any big goal I want to achieve? I see what options exist. I know that some options fall under one direction, while others will fall under another direction. I now make an effort to push that decision to a later stage, to when I am more certain of which direction things are going.
It makes for easier conversations and strangely I feel more confident and hopefully some of that confidence and security rubs off on others around me.
What about you? Have you ever had a challenge in focusing on the journey rather than the destination? Does the above ring any bells? Please share your thoughts.
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